These are stories from a collection called

Tales About Animals Who Do Stuff That Humans Do So You Might Think To Yourself That, Hey, Maybe This Is A Story About Humans After All, But No, These Are Just Animals, and The Moral At the End of Every Story Even Reminds You: Hey, These Are Just Animals, Don’t Read Into It Too Much.

Once upon a time, a kangaroo had a grandmother who kept trying to give her all of the heirloom antique china. The kangaroo told her grandmother that she wouldn’t ever use the heirloom antique china. And she didn’t have room in her house to keep a whole lot of heirloom antique china that she never used. The kangaroo’s grandmother told her that she didn’t appreciate her family and that she would one day regret not having the heirloom antique china. Thirty years later, a scary alligator knocked on the kangaroo’s door and demanded that she hand over some heirloom antique china, or else the alligator would burn the kangaroo’s house to the ground. Then the kangaroo did regret not having that heirloom antique china.

The moral of the story: Hey, these are just animals. Don’t read into it too much.

Once upon a time, a lizard wrote a great collection of stories about humans that did animal things. When he shared the stories with some other animals, they laughed at the lizard. Especially the dingo. The dingo really laughed at the lizard. So the lizard followed the dingo home. When the dingo was asleep, the lizard got in the dingo’s Honda Accord and glued a thumbtack in the cupholder, pointy side up. The next time the dingo ordered a cucumber water at a drive-thru, it spilled all over his car.

The moral of the story: Hey, these are just animals. Don’t read into it too much.

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